I always feel awkward when im sitting at home watching the price is right and the fat contestant get the gym equipment.
Sometimes I wonder why.. Then I realize I can't fool myself with that question bc we all know it's bc of his enormous dick
I respect the size of her balls.
Yeah but I don't respect the size of her anything else.
Myy bathroom floor makes me think I'm on Mars. Also. Did you realize that yesterday we perfected thee mind high-five??
"just because you look like a short version of scarlet johanson does not mean I would immediately fuck you" that was the single.most difficult thing to say. but seriously I don't want the roots of the whore tree anywhere near my junk.
He's scared I want a relationship? How does texting him at three am and sleeping with four of my exes symbolize that?
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
Just a suggestion, don't apricot scrub your vagina.
She just kept roaring and saying Katy Perry had nothing on her. Wtf did she take?
I don't need romance, I need cheese sticks
Homeboy just asked me to strip for him. He should not be this horny and allowed to be in Vegas with his kid.
Hi,\n\nYou left your underwear in my Uber. Thanks and bye.
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
but like who hasn’t gotten fingered at the state fair?
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