remember when you told me, jokingly, to not get jizz on your shirt that i borrowed last night?
Do vagina's smell?
No more Irish car bombs ever.
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
ill give you the fast version. Hooked up with 17 year old coworker while housestting for my boss
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
It was like die hard. Except with more penises.
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
iphones do not disturb setting is the biggest cock block to my 3am booty calls
I drank toilet water last night, I can't answer you because my phone is in rice.
just reached the point where my breast implants paid from themselves in free drinks.
"I played a game called "how drunk can you get in a minute" last night. How was your Thursday?"
Can we do lunch at 3? I have a blowjob scheduled for 2.
You schedule blowjobs?
I told him to not try to hang out with me ever again and now I regret it Bc im bleeding through my uterus and just want him to suck on my aching nipples
Randomize
