Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
If I have to go to the hospital can we stop by the liquor store on the way?
Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
Can an epipen be used as a tranquilizer ?
shes taking the breakup well, i walked in on her naked passed out wearing a turban with a bag of peanut butter choc chips in hand at 5 in the afternoon.
say penis size is all related to how funny you are and then tell a feminist joke. if she laughs, you got double points, if she slaps you, she probably wasn't going to sleep with you anyway
My vday gift was a joint bouquet, Finding Nemo on bluray, and a good shower fuck.
Um, WHAT A FUCKING KEEPER!
Our group of friends now have more broken bones than reasonable excuses for why they're broken.
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
I asked my boyfriend if he wanted a bong for his birthday but he instead asked for corndogs
the cheaper the better
I'll truly miss your penis but your use of words and phrases such as bae, yolo, swag, and totes have ruined how attractive you once were.
That's crazy. Wow that lady must be fucked up
Yeah I hope she's okay.
I'm still going to fuck her husband but I do hope she's okay.
Now I have the opportunity to have Chris Pratt or Channing Tatum?!? What a time to be alive.
I got sriracha sauce on my mask while I was eating fast food, now wearing it makes me hungry
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