So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
just took a shot of real whiskey... i forgot what it's like to drink liquor that costs more than twelve dollars.
While you were in the ER we decided to tailgate in the parking lot until security told us that's not allowed.
How was me telling you it's my mom's birthday a go-ahead to bang my sister???
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition.
driving home I had the GPS in one hand and puking in the coffee cup
So no more sangria road trips?
The $10 cab ride turned into a $60 cab ride when you puked down the back of his seat trying to whisper in his ear. He was a trooper though, he came into to wash off in the sink and still tried to get your number.
The cop actually kicked the bitches out of the cab so we could get ours. I flipped them all off as the door was shutting. That drunk.
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
How many band members does it take to become The Band Slut? I think I might be dangerously close
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
Cops swarmed my car last night in the walmart parking lot cause of the paper plate
Randomize