Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
You know the commpass Jack Sparrow has? The one that just points at whatever you want? Thas pretty much my moral compass.
Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
so i had sex last night with my 12th partner, but hes number 1 for my first time using a condom. i think im finally learning.
When did it seem like a good idea to do pull ups off the balcony? After beer 5 or shot 7?
My liver is crying. And I feel like I got fingered by Edward Scissorhands. While he was wearing brass knuckles
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
stalking the twitter feeds of girls who have fucked my current fuck buddy makes me glad we use condoms
I'm drunk in a place called Lick-A-Chick. PS. It's not a lesbian hot spot, they sell chicken.
He awkwardly handed me plan b on Pickens Street... it was like a sketchy drug deal.
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
Sitting in my junior high parking lot high on ambien talking to a stranger I met on tinder. What is life?
That would involve putting on clothes and I don't think I can face that right now.
Randomize
