I'm a simple man, with a social life most psychopaths would cringe at
the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
You know you stopped at a liquor store to prepare for a 12-year-old's birthday party, right?
I'm mentally preparing myself to hang out with him by staring into the mirror saying "thou shalt not get naked" over and over.
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
I'm so hungover it hurts to blink.. oh sweet merciful Christ what have I done
Once again I am on the toilet and refuse to get up
What a great time to reflect on life
The guy who was interviewing me asked if I had coke on my pants. You win this time Las Vegas
There is a special place in hell for people who only eat the center of the pot brownies.
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
His PENIS is so fucking big that I always use caps, out of respect.
I’m going to give his broken heart CPR with my vagina
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
He just compared fucking my vagina to a snow flake falling on his forehead: gentle.... I'm not sure if that's a compliment or not.
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