So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
He always grinds on me and is like "This is awesome because we're both Catholic!"
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
Bruises. Everywhere. Table sex is dangerous
Omg having my Grindr go off at the planned parenthood is just not okay
He literally chugged a bottle of wine in under 2 minutes. Stood up, said "fuck what ya heard" and stabbed the bottle into their drywall.
I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
Your choices in alcohol this weekend are thoroughly disappointing
I am officially in a love triangle with my celebrity crush
Oh man I knew I took that Molly too soon, talkin to some Scottish people lol but don’t like rollin in pizza restaurants.
Not to be gross and awkward, but I just had sex outside in the rain on the hood of a lexus
I swear I'm going to walk in one day with you in a ballgag just masturbating feverishly
Well i can't stand the sound of my own crying
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