I look like Roseanne just got in a bar fight with Rosie O'Donnell.
I think tequila should come with a little jiminy cricket
Don't be mad at me. I know peeing in your drawer is 1 thing and peeing on you while you're sleeping is another, but im sorry..i love you
he fingered me, smelled his fingers, then asked me what i ate today..
she's not going to take you seriously with an empty 40 and a sombrero on your head.
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
WHAT DID YOU SAW VERBATIM. VERBATIM IS SOBER FOR WORD FOR WORD
Nothings harder than putting on a frozen condom.. or should I say softer
I'm on a treadmill at the gym ordering pizza on my phone so it'll get to my house around the time I get home. I NEED HELP. Or I'm a genius. I haven't decided.
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
FINE. BE CELIBATE AND ACCUMULATE CATS. SEE IF I CARE.
Randomize
