i felt like the dude nobody likes from the mikes hard lemonade commercial
We need to reprogram your vagina to say "no"
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
I woke up at 4 am to my roomate peeing all over my clean laundry. He thought he was in the bathroom and yelled at me for being in the bathroom with him while he was peeing.
This is the high leading the old right now
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
When you mimic motorboating Jennifer Love Hewitt, is it really that hard to understand why no one thinks you're straight?
If there's one thing I learned yesterday, it's that if I really wanted to I could be mayor of Toronto.
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
I'm honored that you could tear yourself away from your girlfriend's vagina long enough to text me.
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
I force fed him french fries and then proceeded to tell him how sexy corgi’s are … it’s safe to say he’s not texting me for a second date.
whatever. i just wanna get "forget my own name" wasted
no. you need to know your name so people know where to return you when you get lost.
My vagina! What have you done to it?
Blessed it my child.
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