you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
If you bring me a slurpee and advil I will eat you out for like an hour.
Maybe it's cuz you slapped him with a pancake last night
Why did you come into my room last night at 3am and pour monopoly money on me while you were crying?
Plus my stomach has been speaking through my ass all day sending notes saying "fuck you" and "this is from your liver" or "i will kill you."
Ok, was I really fucked up or was there a chick from Norway in the ice cream shop teaching us Norwegian last night?
My only downfall is that I can only take shots in twos.
Okay we're getting vodka and coming
Okay. Joe has my machete attached to his belt
Hahahaha don't tempt me. Remember we're trying to avoid airport jail if possible
Omg last night I was giving shots out like I was the Willy Wonka of the alcohol world.
think before you get married my friend it's my birthday and just got done jacking off
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
I really would enjoy sexual intercourse with you.
Most formal booty call EVER
I'll be an awkward "I've had the grooms penis in my mouth" presence and we can party our nipples off.
At least I’m an “essential employee” and can still bang my boss. \n\nFingers crossed my husband doesn’t ask why I’m essential, the orgasms are too good to give up during this pandemic
Randomize