So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
If there was an emoticon for a sad penis, i would send it to you
He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
We got a Christmas tree, decorated it to surprise his wife And kids who were out of town for her father's funeral, then fucked like rabbits on their new mattress before he had to pick them up at the airport.
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
Did I change midway through last night?
Seven times. The most notable outfits were UFC Fighter and Top Hat Viking
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
I fucking hate you. Some slutty looking drunk chick backed her ass up across the bar and started grinding on you. You ignored her because you didn't want to share you drink
I care about my drink far more than her feelings
I'll pay you back with progressively deviant sexual favors.
Don't go to jail over some guy named Bunky
Cocaine bath bombs are a really bad idea
HE CHOSE A RESTAURANT AND MADE A FUCKING RESERVATION. I AM SHOOK
She is beauty she is grace
she’s masturbsting in front of an open window while drunk af 9am
i thought you had class
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