just woke up and my boobs have "fun police" written on them
every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
I am scared. I picture you doing a keg stand on a sinking ship with hula girls cheering you on. Please text me when you get back to shore...or now would be good
... I went down on him at the movies. I feel like Alanis Morisette.
Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face.
There's a bachlorette party going on at the bowling alley, so we'll see who wins greatest shitshow tonight.
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
i woke up in a bed of pop tarts
I can't believe it is only 1:30...I may have to stab myself with scissors for an excuse to go home...
How’s your Christmas Eve so far?
I just chased my melatonin with red wine. It’s 12:00pm.
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
Typical. We're ready to go, and you're not wearing pants.
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
Randomize
