so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
I slept walked to the toilet and woke up pooping. Easily one of the most disorienting events of my life.
you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me?
Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.
my one-armed grandma is doing the YMCA. you figure it out.
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
Our phone convo was getting intense. Then I heard her say "quiet mommy is trying to have phone sex"
i feel this outfit says i'm better than you, but i might give you a handjob behind a building
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
say 'i' if you broke up a fight involving your father at TD bank today....
Note to self: if you decide to go to the gym when you're coming down from your day high to shoot some hoops, do NOT play pickup basketball with the big black dudes who need a sixth
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
i can trust myself, just not when im drunk. and drinking is my favorite pastime
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
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