how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
I pretty much have hash tequila and gelato for dinner every night
I'm being fed tequila grapes by a girl on stilts...
My therapist thinks I shld paint u something to show u my appreciation 4 ur friendship. 1) she must think I'm rite on the brink of no friends 2) this is real
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
If by date you mean washing Pizza house down with a bottle of wine, then yes I have a date.
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
Please tell me that all of the things I remember doing last night didn't really happen. Please.
Long story short, I found someone who takes me seriously when I say I have a Shakespeare kink.
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
Doesn't matter if you work at a funeral home. If the boss says get a keg, you get a keg.
Random boy motorboated me, handed me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, winked and walked out with some other girl
Find him and marry him.
I’ve been home 1 day and already had sex with my ex and got a blowie from her cousin and currently I’m getting molested by a cougar at the bar!!!! Plenty to give thanks for this year!!!!
Randomize
