At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
I was so hungover I threw up on her when she answered the door. i don't think it was a good first impression
I woke up naked by my window. blinds open. smiley face drawn on my window.
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
You suck. You're fired. I need to find a less reasonable voice-of-reason.
I was pretending that it wasn't happening. Until we had to roll down the windows as she was vomiting apologies into a Target bag.
Call me next time you want to get irresponsibly drunk when we have grown up things to do the next day.
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
I love spring semester, so many high school girls visiting that think I'm the sexiest man alive just because I'm in college
Aren't you gay?
IT'S NICE TO FEEL WANTED DON'T RUIN THIS FOR ME
We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
I tried to walk home in my heels. And I fell into a snow bank. And then I cried and a policeman came up to me and said I can't sit in a snowbank and got me a cab. So maybe that's where I left my credit card. I remember the cop asking me if I was old enough to drink, too. OMG. How embarrassing. Pretty sure I told him to "leave me alone."
I DONT KNOW HOW I'M NOT DEAD, JESUS CHRIST ON A DOUBLE DECKER FUCKING KEANU REEVES BUS
I just wiped my butthole and there was glitter down there.
You think I could convince him that having sex with another girl isn't cheating?
Randomize
