after last night i think it would be a good idea if i wrote a will... you know, just in case.
well most of my day revolves around power hour
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
She's the perfect storm when it comes to psycho stalkers
the cops who came hadnt heard yet. when we told them they sang the star spangled banner with us
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
Hahah fuuuck, bag pipers played around me while I threw up. Literally
omg I just had an epiphany about why I grew into such a whore....
HAVE YOU EVER NOTICED WHAT THE SPICE GIRLS USED TO WEAR?!? those were my idols, I never stood a chance
My mouth tastes like what I imagine a hobo's skin would taste like.
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
You have to sext the same way you right a resume, you can only use active verbs
Just at the gym drinking. We call it treadmillcolada
That's the ultimate walk-of-shame: running away from your own apartment and hiding in a McDonald's.
Shotgunning beers in the shower. Mom would be proud.
Is it weird I can only picture you in my heels naked?
Be proud; I'm a versatile boyfriend
Randomize