Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
There are eight sets of guys I've made out with who have the same name. It's like noah's ark in my mouth.
I think it says something about my life when I start picking up girls while im in rehab. And I don't think it's good.
I've blown him while he hit my bong, I've blown him while he played video games and now I'm looking for a new challenge. Don't even try suggesting a blumpkin.
adding to the list of how to lure in freshman boys: take dogs for a walk, yell at them from across the street, sit on the curb at 3 in the morning sobbing
That's not a funny feeling. That's hepatitis. You got it from that bar where everything was sticky.
Masturbated furiously for a half hour; ate a fistful of chocolate, then took a nap. Woke up and finished wrapping presents. I've got this holiday thing down.
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
i feel like if we ever had babies together they would just be drunk all the time
I can get something to clone your cock for $40. It's worth it. It's my birthday present to myself.
OMG I CAN GET A GLOW-IN-THE-DARK ONE
As soon as you told us you were an ostrich with a big penis, we began to wonder what you were on and if you wanted to share.
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
Randomize
