I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
oddly enough my penis is pretty tan. the part of my body that gets the least amount of sunlight is tanner than most of the rest of my body.
I think its part of male evolution. Pretty soon they'll have diamonds on them and taste like chocolate.
My foreign exchange student got here today. I turned on man vs. food and told her that "this is all you need to know about America."
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
Saw a guy pass out and hit his head on a urinal. Laughing too hard to help him up
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
you're asking me why i keep burn ointment in my purse.... do you really want to know the answer to that question?
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
I'm sure you're still partially crippled from thar blow job on Saturday, so I understand it's probably difficult to text.
Mike passed out early so we kept filling his mouth with redi-whip and letting the dog lick it out, but he started getting hives so we stopped.
I can always pull a half day at work too. My boss makes exceptions for drug use. Lol. I fucking love my job.
I don't remember his name. I had whataburger on my mind and in my hands so I wasnt really listening
I just threw up in the bushes and my gardener started clapping...
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
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