This is your Morning Wood Report: I have it.
I just want to make him a cookie cake that says "you have no chance with me."
My 10 year old son gave me a bottle of jameson for fathers day. Did you have something to do with this?
forced to watch US open for father's day. only perk is discovering dustin johnson...reeeeally hoping that this golf sex addiction thing is contagious
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
Totalylr drunk. Coveredc in cryola marker. Loving it. Straight men everywhere. Don't be surprises when I'm pregbat romorrowwwww
YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL.
My penis needs a shock collar
Hey, it's not my fault that you had a shitty bed frame that couldn't handle the rough sex you're into.
I'm stuck in a tree and request your assistance ASAP
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
Hey bro are you still alive??? I'm sure you are wondering how you ended up laying on the floor at the foot of your bed and why there is a wheelchair by your door....
I was so drunk I got motion sickness from sex.
Trust me, I’ve got a sixth sense about dicks that tells me if a guy knows how to fuck and it’s tingling. You need to prove me right!
I’m not going to bang him just to confirm your Dickth Sense
The Dickth Sense!!! I love it! It’ll be our first porno!
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