He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
I am literally sitting on the toilet in utter disbelieve that last night even happened. My god that was only Monday.
He's yummy.
HE'S GAY. AND 40.
Irrelevant.
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
I will pray to the gods of eye bleach for you
What's the sex policy on a school bus? Because I dibs back seat.
Sex allowed. Dress code is neon and obnoxious.
We are gonna die. I wanna enforce the "no jumping out of moving vehicles" policy. And how are we gonna get a school bus through mcdonalds drive thru?
You should photoshop their heads on tigers first!!
For my parents' annivery card? How high are you?
For thanksgving we are only drinking wild turkey for the next 24hrs time to strap your balls back on and maybe a helmet
Ps we bought 8 pellet guns just now
Immediately after I scarfed down an Applebee's appetizer trio for lunch, my boss sent me on an hour long road trip to pick up some parts. Great. I can't wait to shit my pants on US-31 South.
Lord give me the strength to not check my tinder messages at my grandmother's wake.
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
He was awesome with her today. I can't say that it didn't make my Fallopian tubes sing "The Hills Are Alive."
..and by hang out i don't mean fucking then going back home i mean let's get something to eat & watch a movie and fuck sometime in between.
So not only did I get laid today but I also left with a 42” tv lol
I. Love. Skype. Sex.
I think it's just been too long since actual dick has been inside you that you only THINK you love skype sex
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