if you were drunk and peed in your friend's washing maching, would you send an "i'm sorry" text or say nothing at all?
all hypothetical of course
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
It's the first day of summer. It's not a race it's a marathon. Pace yourself
She seriously pointed at the couch and asked me if she could "ride the talking giraffe". I'll never serve everclear again.
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
Deciding whether to take my sex toys home for Christmas will be the biggest decision I make this holiday season
Also topless tea is a thing that happens in our apartment. Ready yourself.
The guy who said he's gonna suck your butthole till your face caves in is at Maggie's
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
I'm not in bed, I'm driving and puking at the same time.... first for everything
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
I have two bottles of emergency tequila stashed under my desk at work.
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
Haha word. Sure I can do that. Help me find which bar has my pants and you'll get free tacos all week
Randomize
