best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
connan obrien reminds me of an asparagus spear
Let's just say there's a reason that "suede" rhymes with "laid".
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
We've gotten 3 pitchers already by trading for CUPCAKES
Apparently when your theatre teacher asks who the best actor of our time is, Nicolas Cage is not the right answer.
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
Your resume just got faxed, I also modified it a bit and sent it to strip clubs...expect weird phone calls...
Come back. Shots need mouths.
I've never wanted anyone to have herpes as I much as I want him to right now.
My sex life reached a new low tonight: we stopped into this bar so I could pee and when I got out of the bathroom my parents had ordered a round for us and this traveling nurse they met and were trying to run game for me. Saddest part? She was actually going for it.
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
Randomize
