I didnt believe in cockblocking untill my roomate brought home that.
do you know how hard it is to pee with a pumpkin in the toilet ?
My chemistry professor just asked me if I ever found a ride home from the bar last Saturday
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
Still want to know how you got back last night? Two Campus Security Officers carried you in around 430. Your pants were around your ankles.
I hate Sailor Jerry.
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
I'm never waking up next to someone after sex again. It's alllll downhill from there.
So then you challenged the bartender to an arm wrestling contest for a free bottle of vodka
Sweet. Did I win?
Youre hungover arent you?
You kept asking the bartender if you could "buy a dollar".
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.
Randomize
