walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
they could make at least 3 episode of "i shouldn't be alive" out of my weekend
She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
Hey, could you leave the door unlocked? Keys seem hard right now.
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
this is hardly the first time i've been told i'm dressed "too suggestively" for 7 in the morning.
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
I pretty much just threw a bunch of clothes and my vodka in a bag..idk where I'm gonna end up tonight but I'm prepared.
I want him in the "you're a terrible idea and are probably going to get me killed by my parents, my siblings, and my boyfriend" way
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
I'll have to text you later. Trying to have civilized conversations with the boyfriends parents when I'm 100% aware I just blew their son in the bathroom 5 mins ago. Stay tuned.
Do you remember telling our cab driver you were going to fuck a penguin?
Well, I guess my plans of staying around the apartment and drinking my weight in boxed wine are ruined. I have a date tonight.
Rule number 1 of dorm living: do not forget your butt plug in the bathroom.
Randomize
