god damn woman. you are like the herpes of drunk texting. you never go away.
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
I just smoked pot in front of my old Elementary School. It's like my Childhood and Adulthood are coming together in this awesome thing.
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
my head gets it he sucks but my LAME FUCKING HEART IN MY VAGINA doesnt
THE CEO RESPONDED TO THE MEMO WITH HIS "UNICORN" EMAIL ADDRESS AND NOW HE'S APOLOGIZING TO EVERYONE FOR USING HIS PERSONAL EMAIL AT WORK.
She was yelling at the tater tots, "In five minutes, you're going in my mouth!"
we got cupcakes after we fucked. gives a whole new meaning to sugar daddy
im buying my prof a giftcard to the state store bc he talked ab crying into a glass of tequila so he deserves it
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
And on a positive note i found a list that i made in 3rd grade titled "what to do if you want a guy to like you"
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
What would I even say at the wedding? "Sorry that I still wouldn't sleep with you after four years of you trying...but hopefully my sister here isn't that stubborn" and give him an awkward pat on the back?
I just threw up on the way to class. Legit, on the sidewalk by psych building.
THAT WAS YOU? Psych prof just pointed out the window and said "that kids, is why you don't pregame before class"
Randomize