so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
I drank it, and now my boss keeps hitting me in the face with beams of light.
Tripping at your desk probably isn't the best plan you've had.
Spraying perfume on pants makes them clean right?
When I was her age, Pluto was still a planet... but i said what the hell
Did you bedazzle the elevator?
Who is this?
You offered to lift up your dress at the bar so I could see your lower back tattoo
Um, I think that was a general offer to everyone. So...who IS this?
I know. I need to get a vagina tranquilizer.
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
I can't wait til I'm a real grown up and am no longer expected to take 7 shots of raspberry ruby as a pregame to a night of drinking natty lite
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
It's amazing
I want to run hundreds of miles and do a whole semesters worth of homework while flying on a unicorn and throwing endless glitter bombs
I feel like asking for a towel for after I puke before I puke to be more respectful than jus going outside to puke and coming back inside covered in sweat and tears.
He said he loves me but he haven't eaten me out yet. So I don't think he means it.
Remind me later when I want to buy more drinks that there's a 20 in my bra
Randomize
