I'm eating all of the evidence.
I'm so cold I just used my boobs to keep my face warm
I just passed a drug test. I want to shout that from the top of a mountain. Can we have beers on the top of a mountain?
For Valentine's Day I've purchased six lighters and I'm decorating them for him. I'm on a full ride to an art school and this is what I'm using my talents for. An intervention is needed. Please stop letting me date stoners.
the number of desperate girls at the gym right now is unfair. it would be cruel not to let one blow me.
im eating mac and cheese with a makeup brush. there is wayyyyy too much wrong with this night.
I mean I don't object to weird looking penis as long as it gets the job done. I just need to get it in. I'm gonna be humping chairs soon.
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
Our 450 pound cab driver smells like McDonalds and sunblock with a touch of vodka. Correction I smell like vodka.
Dad had me doing shots of chocolate mint Everclear last night. I've never felt closer to him.
All I know is that I woke up in a soccer players' dorm, and he said that I kept telling him my mouth was a "net for his balls" last night at the bar..
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
HOLY SHIT. I JUST FOUND OUT THAT THE KARL/RORY BASEBALL FIGHT THAT RORY LOST WAS 2 YEARS AGO TODAY. RIP KARL'S DICK.
Last night was a whirlwind of vodka - induced emotion
Damn victory sex feels great
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