i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
i just made my gag reflex go away.
While drunk it seemed like a good idea to barricade my roommate in his room with everything that we could move in our apartment, waking up to him screaming from it collapsing on top of him was just an added bonus.
I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
he convinced me that i wont have to do the walk of shame bc he has to go to jail in the morning
they wouldn't let me take the pitcher of beer on the ferris wheel
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
You know it is an interesting night when the 911 operator calls you
Is it inappropriate to send a happy 3-year anniversary of having a threesome with you and your ex girlfriend on easter text?
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
I feel like I should throw some tampons around my workspace so everyone will know what's really going on
She's like the Oprah of therapy. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. WITH A PADDED ROOOOM
I feel like I could have been bitchier and missed an opportunity.
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