please stop taking shits in my toilet and leaving them there.
my neighbors are having lesbo sex right now.
I'm on my way.
College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
Halfway through banging her I realized that she was playing a sex playlist on her iPod...first time actually having sex to R.Kelly's "bump and grind"
That's a really weird place to spoon. Especially if there are more accessible places to spoon. Like a bathtub.
He just texted me asking if I remember pinching his eyelid shut with my eyelash curler.
I don't want to get into details but it feels like there was a bear mauling involved. A very good bear mauling.
She passed out on the kitchen table with two mickeys forties duct taped to her hands. Clearly she is going to fit perfectly in your house this semester
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
He started making out with my boobs. I didn't know whether to be proud of my boobs or ashamed of my mouth.
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
He's got a beautiful penis, I can't lie
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
Sex was followed by homemade breadsticks. I waited till after the breadsticks were gone to tell her i had a gf.
Dude I'm pretty sure everyone in my office knows I fucked our boss...can I ask for anything better?
Randomize
