Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
i'm lost and i look like a hooker
i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
my cabbie only has one arm...this can't be safe
Who would have thought the night we were surrounded by 4 cops would be the most responsible night of the week.
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
He ate me out in the forest at that park we used to hit my bong in highschool again, somehow this isn't what I pictured being 25 would be like
you were making out with a guy that looked like Fat Albert, I kicked you in the vagina but you didn't stop
David pulled a magic mike again and started stripping on every street sign we passed.
Why do I have a bunch of cash....and your bra.
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
I can feel my teeth in 4 dimensions. I shouldnt be this high at 8 in the morning.
My doctor was like "I think adderall is a great choice. It'll definitely benefit you and you say you've taken it before so you'll be fine!" \nAnd I was like "yeah bro, totally"
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
My knees are skinned from sitting on someone's face on concrete
Randomize
