oh God, I have a dick of a middle schooler
we did it on the carpet and she just yells out "OH. MY PSORIASIS".
my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
Excused from finishing the term project because my lab partner got arrested. For the second year in a row. Public school, I love you.
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
You were hugging the toilet and shouting "don't let fatty eat me" through the closed door.
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
I made him breakfast and we cuddled on the couch watching march of the penguins, which is, in case you were unaware, the opposite of fucking on a pool table
The sun is so bright. Whhyyyyy. EYES ARE DEAD.
Apparently she saw two women get in a slapping match over a comforter at target yesterday. She said it was awesome. Clearly I take after her.
a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds
Bathtub guy came to. He helped me roll the fat chick away from the fridge. Shower and breakfast are on. You're plan failed!
They were so sore! Either I have bed bugs or you were biting my nipples last night and don't lie to me.
Dont care about too tired for sex, thank you for leaving your laser pointer. I have now determined both my cats are stupid.
So what we learned was that it doesn't matter how skinny the stripper is, if she sits on your knee with a torn acl for two hours it's going to swell up
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