AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
When I'm drunk and can't pee, I sing my abc's in my head and try to pee before I get to pee. Last night I forgot to do it in my head
do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
why is there a sandwich nailed to the wall
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
I understand Curling. That high.
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
I may have just flashed my roommate as he walked in while my towel was falling. Now he knows what an American sized penis looks like I suppose
Boobs speak an international language.
A Morman just tried to recruit me and I told him "Trust me, you don't want me"
Pooping with Eye of the Tiger playing. Not a single fuck shall be given.
I FLASHED A GUY AT MCDONALDS FOR A FREE BREAKFAST BURRITO. IT WORKED!
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
Randomize
