And then a tiny penis fell out of my purse
I will make out with the first guy who tries to pick me up with a lyric from a rap song. I won't even reply, just be on him like whoa.
Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
My dad just walked in on me screwing the chick from the bar...the look of relief on his face was sort of hurtful.
His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change
Eating chips and sending nudes. This is my life.
How are you feeling?
I mean, shattered dignity aside, not bad.
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
Sex in the backyard? Check.
This lady is talking to me and all I can think about is getting face fucked and doing cocaine. Not neccesarily together and not neccesarily in that order
My favourite part was when you contorted upside down in the tub and said "I don't want to be upside down"
Randomize
