We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
she kept checking the clock when she was giving me head and at midnight she said she had to stop because she cant eat meat on fridays is that bitch serious
You going out tonight?
No I am at the hospital. Throwing up blood is apparently frowned upon.
just threw up on dog. broke microwave with cheese and spoon. having a bath with my barbies singing final countdown.
before you ask yes i found the absinthe under your bed. ITS THE FINAL COUNTDOWWWWNNNNNN
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
I sent him pictures of just me in my thong and he replied "you're so sweet, you make me feel special <3".... Oh.
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
Dude if it is ever said "everybody get inside the police helicopter just showed up.". That means it was a successful party.
Remember that time you gave me a fat lip with your vag? We should do that again!
I wish I saved his nudes so I could anonymously submit them to his tumblr
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
Woke up this morning with Nerf Bullets stuck to everything in my house and nut in my belly button. What exactly happened last night?
You used a fucking bud light like as lube last night. I'd get a UTI test like stat.
I just got a robo call from the Addiction Help Line. Not sure how to take that.
Randomize
