Reason #437 to hate Louisiana: Just went to the public bathroom at work. It was so humid the toilet seat was damp and sticky. Either it's the humidity or I sat in somebody's yesterday piss. I choose to believe the humidity.
the hot woman interviewing me is reading jokes off the back of laffy taffy.... I'm getting laid and possibly a job
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
It's not my fault you have a job and can't get drunk on Tuesday's. Don't take your frustrations out on me!
hahaha every time i hear a motorcycle i think about that one time you almost died
Thanks for the flashbacks you prick.
the evidence suggests last night I either took a bath in beer or drank 18 beers while in the bath. either one sounds good to me. sad i don't remember it
So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
He wants me to tell you "my boner misses you"
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
His dick is a skeleton key. It fits everywhere.
He called out my ex's name during sex.
Alex is a pretty common unisex name.
It was the same Alex. I asked.
sometimes i just have a bad day n consider lowering my standards
Honestly, you can’t tell the whole sorority he has a donkey dick and expect that no one would sleep with him after you broke up
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