thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
I think you begin to realize how unfair life really is when you're high and you discover that the new box of fruit by the foot on your shelf is actually empty
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
She's 90% sass and 10% boobs
Our first time hooking up was on New Years and we've managed to hook up every holiday since, I'm hoping this lasts until 2016 just to fulfill my American Holiday sex fantasy I never knew I had
I made my uber driver take a pit stop between clubs so we could restock on Xanax. #priorities
Thinking about licking your asshole. And hugs and stuff too I guess.
You have a husband. I have a bag full of electronics. This, is the single life.
There is blood all over my sheets and no discernible source.
I swear to god, I'm like....the Jedi master of dick.
I informed him that we had less than 5 minutes left to live, and his first words were "I'm trying to think of a good They Might Be Giants quip"
Want to go to Victoria’s Secret? His fiancée is out of town and I’m going to try and stop the wedding with lingerie and lots adventurous sex
Absolutely! I love a good sexual filibuster!
Randomize
