i just spent the last half hour thinking about my totally irrational and intense hatred of wedge flip flops.
it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
I got Green Bay stickers to put on my nipples. This way when I flash it will look like I did it out of spirit as opposed to drunkenness
Apparently someone switched my cash for monopoly money after midnight so I couldn't get any more drinks at the bar
Sitting in airport bathroom. Guy walks into toilet next to me and announces "I want to apologize to the entire airport for what I'm about to do"
The chick who threw the party was all pissed cause she thought I made out with her boyfriend. Admittedly, I did, but she was throwing up and crying at the time so she really can't be that mad.
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
I drank butter last night, who am I to judge?
I just went into a strangers house to have a spoonful of sugar to cure my hiccups, wtf is wrong with me
Do you think it would be a margarita if you just out tequila in a sonic slush?
My goal is to be drunk before we even get out of the No Wake Zone.
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
It's taking all of my will power not to chug this margarita. This must be the life of an adult...
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