On blowjobs: "If you decide to go there, you finish the job. No complaining." I don't care if it sounds like she's talking about Iraq, I'm in love.
I can make a handprint turkey for extra credit in history. I feel like the word college should be in quotes on the school letterhead.
im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
he walked down the highway for 3 miles at 4 am, and got me coffee on the way. i dont think a blow job would have been enough.
You insisted that you sleep on the bear rug instead of the couch. You said it was lonely and you kept on petting its head.
I FUCKING SERVED PEOPLE AND POURDED JUGS AND GOT FREE BEEEEEEEERERTERRY
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
The acoustics in my bra are fantastic.
Also, yes, I look pretty rough. But my ovaries fought back this morning so getting dressed decently was not a priority.
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
We may not see eye-to-eye on much, but I'm definitely willing to let you see eye-to-vagina again.
I'm debating a nap but also debating breaking into the liquor cabinet
Sorry about my life...
Don't trim your pubes if you've been drinking. I can't believe I have to tell you more than once.
Step one: We finally agreed on an au pair that we both wanna fuck.
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