He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
She posts like 3 statuses a day pleading for pity. Responding positively would be like giving a dog a treat for shitting on the floor.
I blacked out, started puking and peed on the guy I was hooking up with. Mid hand job.
How old are you? 14? Who gives hand jobs anymore?
Salt in an open wound right now.
He still lectured me about forgetting shit. Than he said he's gonna paint me green so I can stand in a corner and be a plant.
I'm so hungover all I can do is stare at my curser and hope it starts moving on its own
She sucks enough dick that I could make her mouth a legitimate Yelp location.
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
FYI you are now my emergency contact at plan parenthood
For the sake of being nice I congratulated her and she replied with something along the lines of that I need to stay away from him and not touch him ever. I really wanted to be like "been there, done that" but my New Years resolution was to not start any cat fight over boys with small dicks before noon
My doctor wrote down abstinence as my form of birth control. #ihavenodatinglife
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
If I get really high and watch Beauty and The Beast on our Netflx account, will you judge me?
Only if you start before I get home!
I feel like I have the I just lost my virginity face and everyone at the grocery store knows it.
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
Randomize
