Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
Well, I was going to ask you what happened to all my lipstick. Until I saw the giant red penis on my living room wall.
I should go buy the economy size box of condoms and sprinkle a path like rose petals to my bed... Think he'd get the hint?
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
I blacked out before two in the afternoon yesterday. Now that's a successful birthday.
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
Just opened up the freezer to find chocolate penis popsicles. Too hungover for this shit
you made a mix containing mostly whiskey. then you took a sip, gagged and yelled "perfect!"
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
I just made mac at 3:10 am... My life is falling apart...
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
I don't care. We're going to fuck. And I WONT apologize in the morning. You cheated on me, so you can cheat on her with me.
Me and dad were just reflecting on that time he found a gas mask bong in the backyard.
Randomize
