his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
come help me. im curled up in the fetal position on the upper floor of the lib. please bring more caffeine or alcohol
its ok. its hell week the lib is a no judgment zone right now
On my way, five mins. Is the line long? Do you think they will they hold a pumpkin at coat check?
There's nothing worse than carrying your fairy crown and wings home wearing fishnets
i'm about to be the still-drunkest person on the ellipticals
i just came to a realization. Besides probably food, in my lifetime i think i have spent more money on legal fees than anything else
I do NOT want my proposal story to start "...he was peeing on me and then..."
I'm still a bit day drunk and decided to go for a run. You may get a snapchat of me vomiting soon
This chick just walked by and pet my beard. Don't know, never talked to her. She just walked by and pet my beard.
Marry her
I don't fucking know. He perched his parrot on his dick. I left after that.
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
you found yr lighter in yr cleavage and said so that's where you've been all my life
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
Randomize
