I think my guts just had a chinese fire drill
Just pulled my keys, cell-phone and a pack of cigarettes out from between my cleavage. This one guy's face was priceless.
we were watching porn and trying to copy the position they were doing now i think my hip is dislocated
Missed another period
I almost hope you're pregnant, this is unfair.
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
She was grinding on him and then she was eating a Big Mac. Who the hell brings a Big Mac to the club?
100 proof captain the only man who can make me strip during a snowstorm
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
ugh I gave him morning sex and he doesn't even text me back for my bagel order
Observations from Vegas: #1. Strippers pasties pose a choking hazard. #2. Best. Heimlich. Ever.
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
Randomize
