He asked me if I "almost moaned"
Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
Going abroad, it was like my vagina was in a candy store... a sweet sweet british candy store
you were mass sexting so we took your phone away
We broke two of his toes while having sex. He laughed said he'd fix it in the morning and kept going. I think I'm in love
i gave her a can of corn and told her the cabs are accepting non perishable food items over the holidays. blatant lie and she lives like $40 away
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
yeah, but the first step is admitting you have a problem, the next step is kidnapping him
In all seriousness, if tomorrow night becomes a heated game of Which Ex Gets To Take The Plastered Birthday Girl Home, I'm going to bow out with my integrity intact.
Glad we went casual last night, made my 1pm walk of shame through Walmart a little less obvious
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
They figured our he was high when he told the manager he wanted a break to go wrap his dick in toliet paper and pretend it was a ghost.
Odd start to the day - the FBI just showed up at my apartment.
Oh well, he'll live. He has a hand and a penis.
Turns out naked yoga wasn't a pickup line. I feel betrayed.
Randomize
