He could list all of the presidents! Every one, and in order!! I was so impressed the least I could do was give him a blow job.
Ah, yes. Making our founding fathers proud.
i'm sitting in the pool eating chicken pot pie with my little brother's friend. moments like these are the reason i love weed.
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
Waiting outside the STD clinic 30 min before it opens already in a line up. It's like were all waiting for a concert that no ones really pumped for
He's drinking red wine in a margarita glass. He couldn't be more perfect for me.
He's going to regret telling me he doesn't care if i shave or not...
So awkward... The newspaper lady just caught me sitting stoned in my driveway at 5 am and asked if I was okay. I'm way better than ok right now
Dont forget the glove box taco bell stash i saved for drunk us.
Lots of alcohol. 3rd graders fuck me now.
Auto correct or actual 3rd graders?
Chasing shots with sriracha-covered mini toast was, in retrospect, not the best idea.
You tripped over nothing.. everyone stopped what they were doing and stared..you stood up and yelled "you win this time gravity"..then started chugging someone's drink
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
I'm going to bed early so football can come sooner
Listen I'm tryna celebrate your divorce. Sometimes that calls for drinking on the toilet.
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
Randomize
