all we need is a shotglass and a helicopter.
we were watching porn and trying to copy the position they were doing now i think my hip is dislocated
He told me I couldn't drink an unopened bottle of water he had in his room because that was his emergency bong water
she moved to the other side of town, do you realize how far i gotta walk to get a blow job???
he laminated a picture of his dick.
just did a beer bong in the shower while i was taking an actual shower its officially football time
By getting lucky do you mean I get one of your incredible BJs or you not killing me by the end of dinner?
Had to immediately delete the Bevmo email because I can't even look at an email about alcohol right now.
Surely the maintenance men have seen worse than that condom right
I wound up running down the street in 12 degree weather in just my bra and then fell asleep cuddling my bottle. You tell me how last night went.
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
I'm pathetic. I'm eating cream puffs in the bath and crying a little.
Drank your wedding present. Sorry
Willing booties have sort of a tractor beam for me.
I just tried to lit a bowl with my chapstick.
Randomize
