I am drinking ovaltine with peppermint schnapps. My childhood could have been so much better.
the EMT asked how you broke your nose and you said, "you know, the usual wear and tear."
Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
I feel like I just lived out a children's book called "The Day I Went to Law School Stoned"
No. I heard a cover of "my heart will go on". This is not sanity.
Did I run into a tree or get punched in the face?
Both.
He pulled a bucket of fried chicken out of his backpack as a peace offering. Under the chicken was a rainbow bag of weed. We're dating again.
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
How many more of your relationships do I have to destroy before you realize sleeping with me isn't a good idea?
Annoying and petty is the name of the game and I'm the MVP.
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
Randomize
