How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
and thats when i went through the window and a shard of glass got stuck in my ass. the doctor said it was the best injury hed seen all month. i am a champion of life.
Im partying with a unicorn. You don't even know.
better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
you poured 3 beers into an empty vase and then passed out, so i drank them for you. don't say i'm not a good friend.
just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
i didnt think "maybe you should take over" was a good thing to say when i couldnt get it up
It's just not a Friday night unless I'm getting propositioned by a guy in a wheelchair via Facebook messenger...
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
all I'm saying is that my epic blow jobs have made grown professional football players cry in ecstasy
How many ballsacks did you see last night because I saw eight
Just taking a shit and realized the captain planet theme song is stuck in my head.
We do have a rich storied history of emotional warfare
Is there an "I fucked your brother" emoji?
I know she’s pissed I fucked her husband, but I didn’t know he was married until after I blew him at Legoland
Randomize
