what ever happened to devon sawa?
fuck...who knows?
i'm really worried about him.
Why can't we have signs that automatically flash on our foreheads that say not interested when gross ugly guys come around, like those glasses that get dark when the sun comes out?
Sex on a kitchen table is not as amazing as they make is seem in the movies.
just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
then I woke up and felt a boner that wasn't even mine. never taking 3am vodka again
My body has become completely dependent on Text Twist. I can't poop without it.
I just offered a homeless man a meal from McDonald's, and he replied "I don't eat McDonald's food". That is the epitome of "begger's can't be choosers."
My liver hurts and I just woke up from my first sleep in two days
Sounds like the perfect vacation
I don't know what to be prouder of: the fact that last night i was able to successfully find my way home from evanston with 3-d glasses on, or that i was able to make my way around my house in the dark with my pants around my ankles
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
Like you know your sex life is in a downward spiral when your best friend offers to sext you from Ireland
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
I just want to nap and funnel a bottle of wine in a cute dress
Just got offered cocaine at ihop. Stay classy America.
This Cougar is looking at me like I’m a piece of meat and buying me top shelf cocktails
I’m getting a fear boner thinking about what she might do to me
Randomize
