We're watching an ocean show on Discovery Channel and drinking every time they say "dolphins." PS. Seals kill birds. Tell all your friends.
So it turns out the white chocolate in the bathroom is actually soap
i just renamed my vag "the sorting hat"
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
VAGINAS ASSEMBLE!
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
Zak is like the Picasso of masterbatory texts
I'm definitely not at Wal-Mart eating jalapeno poppers with an elevated blood alcohol content
If my plane goes down do me a favor. Break into my house and get the batman costume and swing out of my bedroom.
Saw a thong on the yellow lines of the street when I left this morning, are they yours by any chance?
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
All she said was "Do me by Friday."
Randomize
