People were stuck in the elevator screaming and freaking out. I banged on the door and yelled, "fire depart!" They got excited and then I ran away. lolz
i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
I want her autograph on my taint
First and foremost she's my friend, but she's also a mistake I make when I'm drunk
This morning I learned I traded my sunglasses for a Big Lebowski sticker at the football game.
How are ur friends?
One is peeing in the grass and the other is asleep under the stairs. Fuck them I'm sleeping in the car
Dude, it's not gay. It's winter.
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
Why do I think he'd like to keep my hair in a box?
As my straight cousin I need you to answer a question. Are the Astros a baseball team, and if so, are they good? This is flirting related and time-sensitive.
I am on my way right now and I SWEAR TO GOD IF YOU EAT MY BURRITO YOU WILL NEVER SEE MY TITS AGAIN
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
if anyone breaks out the olive oil & slip n slide, text me 911.
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