My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
hot ketchup is not a substitute for marinara
I dare you try and top an Eiffel tower full of Margarita
Ha, I bet. You tipped the waitress like 10 bucks for a glass of water.
Actually I think I might be dying right now so if I do you have to drink all my vodka
You're so demanding.
I might have been fine if i had magic teleportation powers and could have skipped the car ride between bar and home
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
I had to write an apology letter to my roomate for hotboxing in our bathroom. What a bitch.
A guy in a gorilla mask got blown on the lawn. And then the night got weird.
You blew him?!?!
*Am blowing
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
I'll get tired halfway through and end up passed out at a taco shack honestly
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
I think my liver has finally had enough and is going all Ashley-Judd-in-a-Lifetime-movie on me.
I feel like I purchased a one way ticket to hell last night and its non refundable.
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
Randomize
