Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
I woke up this morning to the buzzer on my oven going off... I cooked fish sticks at 425 degrees for 5 hours last night. my house smells awesome
We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
Desperate + desperate does not equal a fun night.
you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
the 3rd commandment: and god said, if you buy a handle.. you must finish it.
She had to leave early so she could get ready for her high school's homecoming. I hope her date likes sloppy seconds.
I'm taking tokes in the bath tub, come if you want, I'm naked and you have to bring chicken nuggets or else you can't come in
He must've been a bear in a previous life. My nipple is bleeding. Shit's sensitive.
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
Goal: finish my bio assignment before the Xanax kicks in.
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
according to the calendar even that i put in my phone last night, i'm supposed to fuck shit up at 11am today... i really hope i didn't miss something important
I made out with the hosts' boyfriend, infront of her, drank way too much, slept in my car and convinced everyone that I'm really a nice person. If that's not skilled lying, I don't know what is.
Randomize
