This morning when you woke up you looked like one of the Wii Bowling people. I think it was the eyebrows combined with the sambuca
On my way, I hope you have alcohol for me to blame stuff on...
I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
You named all of the cocktail shrimps and then tackled a guy for "eating Henry"
She was having a seizure right in front of you, and you asked, "So there's no more donuts?"
Welp. I just hopped out of his window to avoid meeting his parents... happy monday!
So that'd what fifty dollars of chicken at 7/11 looks like. Made it to work on time. Puked twice. BOOM.
I'm not making any promises. But if I start throwing food at you, just go with it.
My pubes were yanked out by the root when they got caught in the condom. I think it's time for a bikini wax.
Great. Now I have to produce, edit and leak a sex tape before Saturday. Fundraising is hard.
To the point, I hope I remember where to put my dick when I finally get laid again
You have a 50 50 chance
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
And let me tell you, getting your ass waxed is the weirdest fucking experience.
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
Randomize
