38 yer olds are good kisserssss
Funny, I didnt know that facebook statuses were for crappy song lyrics
I pretty much just threw a bunch of clothes and my vodka in a bag..idk where I'm gonna end up tonight but I'm prepared.
Dude I live in a fucking closet and still get laid every weekend. Figure it out.
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
As I am reading this. I'm standing in my underwear eating taquitos. I'm saying this in the most loving way possible: FUCK OFF.
Just called the consul general of France "dude"
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"
She's the good dick fairy. You buy her a beer and half an hour later the best lay in the place is asking to take you home.
the only things my left hand does: catch/hold things and masturbation.
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
It's like every time I'm baked I discover my fingers all over again.
Ha. Yeah that's all I found you with this morning. Butt ass naked w my robe across your lap and your arms thrown back in handcuff position.
Randomize
