I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
apparently i was offering everyone ambien and shouting, it's only like heath ledger if you want it to be!
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
He sang nursery rhymes to my vagina to get me to have sex with him..
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
Only you would get a date out of getting hit by a car
if I see a bottle of vodka right now I'll probably throw up gum I swallowed when I was a kid
She was wasted talking to my dad about the hunger games than she passed out in the shower and flooded the hotel room...
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
you really need to remember next time not to write your name and phone number on the paper its wrapped in.
But what if it got lost?
its illegal. you dont want people to contact you if they find it.
Wound up hungover. Visiting 4 y/o nephew suggested cookies and milk and playing Kirby with him with the sound down. This kid is going places.
Thank you. I woke up with a beard hair in my mouth. Super classy.
I came twice AND he sent me home with edibles. I think he’s a keeper.
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