I think the world might be a better place if everyone was capable of having open relationships.
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
When boys buy condoms it makes me feel proud of their mothers for doing a good job
I'm surprised I haven't crapped out a leprechaun, I'm so hungover
On a scale of 1 to "bad descision", where does stealing my racist neighbors dog and giving him my roomates dildo for a chew toy rate?
That feels better than graduating college or that time I tried to ride a llama. Did you know they really spit?
She's been drunk for three days now
Like three straight days. 72 hours
She's been covered in glitter for the last two and somehow she found a monkey
Literally just had a girl put her street name into my phone. Yeah.
Mostly what I remember is someone saying "raise your hand if you're too turnt" then raising my hand and falling
she hacked my macbook and downloaded an illegal version of the original pokemon red, completely nude in my computer chair. there were several levels of hornyness existing all at once
I'm at the point in my life where I'm gonna sell my eggs for cash
Have you ever been up at one in the morning and thought to yourself, "I do not know nearly enough about penguin reproduction"?
I accidentally mass texted his dick pic. Not only to my friends, but to my dad as well...
I need to stop challenging people to taking off clothes. I win too often
Randomize
