If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns.
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
did you know that if you have sex in the elevator on the way up that people can still get in?
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
Don't bang him. The amount of Jack Johnson he listens to is embarrassing for even a white person.
i refuse to be around anyone not wearing a sombrero...its cinco de mayo
Any clothing i put on is too many clothes.
but it was less of a make out and more of a goodnight kiss as a "thanks for giving our drunk asses a ride home and sorry we called your bar the worst bar in LA"
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
OH MY GOD THE LITTLE GIRL IS SITTING WITH US WHILE WE SMOKE. I'M NOT DOING THIS
I signed the divorce papers. Can I get a blowjob now?
Hey.. Lock your door. There's a drunk girl walking around in here. She just came in my room and peed on my chair.
He saw me naked after our first date and still asked for a second.. so I think we’re doing good
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