adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
Apparently he always goes for the wrong girl so it should be easy for me to nail him.
i woke up to the sound of my roommate climbing onto my desk mumbling that she was going to bed
I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
Are taco bell cups microwave safe? I can't make that judgement right now
After seeing how much you are able to funnel in a night, I am 90% sure your blood is pure gin.
Doing Jager Bombs on a Sunday morning is justified...How else is my team going to win?
I'm sitting with my parents watching football and moaned when I saw his shirtless picture. They looked at me weird so I had to turn the moan into a laugh. A sad, really horny laugh.
He kept humping my leg and whispering "dont worry, thats my phone not my penis"
I am literally drinking 7 day old water and looking for snacks in my room so I won't have to go in the hall and see roommate, because we accidentally banged last night. Please bring over some chicken and plan b.
I got frustrated so I just stood up and said take me to bed or lose me forever and banged the first guy who responded show me the way home. Thank you Top Gun.
but seriously, if you see a redhead running down the street tonight in a carrot costume, call 911. He's tripping hard.
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
For some reason drunk me always leaves sober me a banana in the morning.
Randomize
