she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
before you smothered your pizza in mayo you blotted it with a napkin saying you were trying to watch your fat intake
I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
Making the executive decision for drunk you to not sleep in the lofted bed that has no ladder
I'm way too horny to be at work right now. I think it might be legally irresponsible to leave me alone with cucumbers.
I woke up to a hotel manager knocking on my car ( window was down) and asking if I was ok
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
I think there's an ice cream truck out back, but there's no way I can get pants on in time to catch it
My hungover walk of shame was interrupted by a stranger on a balcony throwing me a beer to shotgun... at 10 a.m....
I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
I've made a new rule for socializing in the winter: if it doesn't involve me orgasming or getting drunk I can't make it
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
Randomize
