we sat in the hammock and pretended we were skydiving for three hours. jack actually started crying when i convinced him his chute didnt open.
i tried to hook up with a mom and then her husband came with num chucks
thanks for paying me in special brownies...but brownies dont pay the rent...anymore.
well.. I tried flushing my sandals down the toilet
I was masturbating in my bed this morning when my ipod alarm went off and it started playing "show me the meaning of being lonely"
He came up behind me making dolphin noises in my ear when I noticed a collection of hors d'ouevres from the reception earlier in his jacket pocket
I will never doubt you again...he IS perfect for you
Mom just referred to a 9 year old as "this bitch", so I'd say day drinking was a success.
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
You can't die you're my only democrat family member
I'm not talking about Donald Trump in the midst of sending you nudes
You proposed a left ass cheek firmness contest and got a surprising number of contestants. Then you ruined it by groping someone who wasn't playing and awarding them first place.
Pooping in a box is not fun. You're not a cat.
Good morning beautiful! Wanna steal a cat this weekend?
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