Did you put 9lbs of birdseed all over my car?
You weighed it?
You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
It was dark, she woke me up, gave me a blowjob and then whispered in my ear: do you know who I am?
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
Once again, marijuana saves me from going to jail
He made her leave because she liked Top-Ramen better than Maruchaun. He's my hero.
I let a 30 year old guitar player that works at a call center go down on me in his backseat last night
She said she hasn't cheated on me in 7 and a half days and she'd like praise for that.
oh, he’s out of jail btw. as of about 6pm. one of his customers bonded him out apparently lol
Like he really got a coke fiend to bond him out?
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