it's one of those mornings where you are proud of yourself just for waking up.
blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
We're sending your burrito through the mail slot.
He came in, laid on our floor and started to make a snow angel.. On the floor. Then he just left never said a word. 20 mins later walked back in and dropped his pants, looked down and said "wow im happy i had boxers on."
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
There's a stripper banging on the door demanding to see you.
then he tried to tell me how many times he had seen Scott's dick. his estimate was about 180 times. he thought I didn't understand.
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
Bad news? she threw her drink in his face, left her phone at the club, and disappeared. I found her laying in bed with the bottle she stole from our VIP service. Good news is she's asleep and I have the bottle, come home
Yeah. Let's save our goodbyes for when I'm obnoxiously and embarrassingly drunk and more than likely naked.
That and I was watching this life alert commercial and I'm pretty sure my liver turned up the volume for more information
Never underestimate the power of loudly proclaiming you want to make out with someone
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
Get your heels and tits on! I’m not wasting a Brazilian because his fucking kid ate paste or Legos and ruined an afternoon suite sex and room service
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