Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
it seems as if every mistake i've ever made in life i've had an errection in one hand and a bud light in the other
i'm listening to "transmissions" by The Tea Party from like '97 and waxing my legs. fuck i'm awesome in my alone time
Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
Why do you apologize after every time we have sex?
From now on, just let me go home. I'm tired of hooking up with your roommates... Including you.
He got about halfway through singing "Drift Away" before he passed out and broke my coffee table.
I told my dad that bagels were the equilelent of angels kisses and if he bought me one i would do a split
If youre wondering about the smell, i set your hamster on fire. But don't worry he's ok
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
No one ever gets any after sleeping with her. She is like the broken mirror of hookups, enjoy 7 years of blue ball. Don't say I didn't warn you
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
thought a girl was checking me out today. took me like 5 minutes to realize it was a mannequin
Hold on - sidebar. My best friend just threw a 40 pack of condoms through my window.
Yea and there’s destruction when we’re together, mostly of our livers but W/e
Randomize
