I have to look really hot tonight because my personality is going to suck.
shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
I've see this movie. You sext me after the bar and fall asleep mid sentence. Roll credits.
I just remember thinking, if she falls asleep, I'm totally eating that spilled chex mix right off of her.
I don't know if I want to live in a world where i can't fuck an exes brother.
There was a group of girls next to us. One was smiling at me. I only remember walking up and saying "oh you're Russian". Not sure where it went from there
I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
I am about to embark upon a south Boston wedding....
Hydrate.
I'm sure you can think of a way to make money.. God didn't give you boobs that awesome to waste them feeding your children..
best eviction party ever.
it wasn't an eviction party you asshole, you just happened to get yourself evicted during the party.
Yo making cake in the shape of a penis is no easy feat
I just made mac at 3:10 am... My life is falling apart...
I almost suffocated in that mask but she kept calling me Jeremy so I kept it on.
Randomize
