you told all the 17 year old girls at the party that your mating call was "I glitter in the sun"
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
Apparently you need a permit for a flamethrower.
HIV testing and a light brunch. Sounds like a great way to spend Christmas Eve.
Maybe you'll have a Christmas miracle
My mouth is so dry that I'm about to put a straw in a jar of Vaseline and chug. This all addi diet definitely has its ups and downs.
When the nurse referred to my vag as "your downstairs", I knew I found the perfect Doctors office.
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
Those nachos came to me in a dream
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
Uess honpr I rememebrt hEzS cuter
You'll have to translate that into sober in the morning.
and i walked downstairs to find my brother using nunchucks, and making the appropriate noises. i simply asked "why"; his reply? "why the fuck do you think?". i love my family.
You know when you're a kid and you play at the pool until you passed out? It was like that except instead of playing it was sex.
Randomize
