Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
If Curt Schilling could pitch a game with that blood-filled sock... if Tiger Woods won the 2008 US Open with a torn ligament, then I'd be an embarrassment to the human race if I couldn't manage to at least jerk him off even if I was still crying after he put it in my butt.
Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
Seriously, stop peeing all over the toilet seat. It looks like movie theatre butter.
Pretty sure I just slept with Elmo.
He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
First Thanksgiving as a grown up: My step dad had to take my brother (who still smells like booze) and I both to our cars this morning, apparently we were at the same bars (same stamps), & I think I broke my elbow. Im thankful to be alive & not incarcerated.
To be honest i'm almost glad he got arrested. His girlfriend and i kept making out so i'm pretty sure the alternative was a threesome. Now we're just the trashy girls who visit him in jail.
He told me he doesn't want to fuck anymore because he needs to focus on school. Either he grew a vagina or he's secretly gay, it has to be one of the two.
I told her my hands felt like they touched the sun, never been that stoned before
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
First dip in a brand new jar of Nutella, and my man’s dick are two things I will not fucking share.
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
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